For years my husband and I have been trying to make a big life changing decision. We became very familiar with the dance of positive and negative and we took turns in taking the lead in each of those roles, and got nowhere. This went on and on and it got became boring and just plain frustrating.
We were trying to come to the decision about whether we should extend our family of four to five. It has been on our mind daily for around five years, niggling away at us, probing ‘should we?’, or ‘shouldn’t we?’ If you have found yourself with this very dilemma you may want to read my previous post here, http://www.kizmetcava.uk/how-do-you-know-when-your-family-is-compete/ It really could have gone either way. We felt in turmoil.
After I turned 40 last year, we felt it really was crunch time. It was now or never. After a night of heavy discussion weighing up the pros and cons of either decision, we bravely decided to just go for it and let fate decide. So here we are, a positive pregnancy test later with number three on the way. When we first saw the result we were a mixture of feelings. All the cons that we had carefully weighed up were intersecting all the pros that had been the driving force behind our decision. Overall though we were happy, if not a little surprised. Isn’t it odd that you can aim for a goal, and when it comes to fruitition it is still a shocker?
The next day though the dust settled and I recall driving to the supermarket with the strangest feeling that I just couldn’t put my finger on. It was only when I parked up that I understood what it was. I felt absolute inner peace. I felt lighter, more settled somehow and just, still. I don’t think I had realised how heavy a burden the ‘shall we/shan’t we’ debate had been in my mind for all those years. I called Mr C to say exactly how I felt. I felt complete, and it was so bloody liberating!
So here we are, two scans in and half way there. We have enjoyed telling the children and they are beyond excited. I am thoroughly enjoying being pregnant and I am looking forward to welcoming a spring baby. We decided to not find out the sex, although it was beyond tempting when Mrs Sonographer told us we had to look away if we didn’t want to know, just in case. It doesn’t seem fair that they know and we don’t! Anyone else feel that? After showing people the scan there seems to be a resounding collective decision as to what we are having. So my question is, what do you think? Are you one of those people that always gets the sex correct? I do envy those people!
Thanks for reading,