I am embracing 40, even though I feel like I am still 20. It got me thinking what I would say to my younger self if I could go back with the knowledge that I have now. Things would be so different. I asked some of my trusty blogger friends what advice they would have for they younger selves and they all came up with amazing advice. I have added their little gems to this post, along with mine. We may not be able to use a time machine but we can at least share our wisdom with our teenage girls today.
Go with your gut
It is your best friend and it won’t let up in telling you when things are not right. Trust it. If you can’t shake the feeling that he doesn’t love you, know that he doesn’t. If you are being niggled at from within about a decision that you have made, know that it is not too late to change your mind. It will be for the better. If you feel in your gut that a friend can’t be trusted, then know that you are right. Your gut feeling will always serve you, don’t confuse it with worrying. It is much more powerful than a worry.
You can’t make someone love you
If you have been with someone for a while and you keep telling yourself that things will get better, it is time to get out. If you find yourself trying everything you can at the expense of being you, then it will never work. Don’t kid yourself that this is as good as it gets. It isn’t. You can find someone who makes you truly happy, but not whilst you are wasting time trying to be someone you aren’t. Yes, it will be painful to walk away, but not as painful as it will be further down the line. Be honest wth yourself.
The next time your feel like you are being moaned at by your parents, try to remember that to you it may be nagging but to them, it is panic. From the day you were born they can’t help but protect you, and no matter what age you get to, the feeling to protect doesn’t decrease. If anything it gets stronger. Don’t try and understand this, you can’t fully. Not until the day you have your own child. Don’t meet their panic, with attitude. It is only because you are the most important thing to them and they can’t stand the thought that someone, or something will harm you.
If peers are unkind to you about your looks, interests, personality, know that it is more to do with them than you. There is something deep within themselves that is making them unhappy. The easiest way for them to deal with this is to make you feel crap about yourself. Don’t let them. Also, know that these are not true friends. Does their presence in your life serve you? If not, why give them the time of day?
Surround yourself with supporters, not competitors. A good friend will challenge you with the truth, and sometimes it will hurt, but it will make you question yourself and it will make you grow. A good friend will never, I repeat never, make you repeatedly feel down on yourself.
Dream away and dream big. Make a plan to get there and stick to it. Tell this to people in your life that you know will support you and help you to make it happen. You will always come across people who tell you all the reasons why you can’t do something. You don’t have to take these on board, but be wise and have a backup plan. It may take longer than you think and you will want to be able to afford the things your friends have along the way. Make this part of your plan.
Even if someone hurts you, be kind. You never know what they are going through and your kindness may be the thing that makes the difference. It will make you feel better too, kindness take less energy and leaves you feeling more positive than being bitter and twisted.
And other tips from my blogging buds
You don’t need to know exactly who you are or what you want to be yet – some awesome people figured it out late in life and some never did but still made their mark on the world, stop putting pressure on yourself and let your true self grow in your own time. Kate Mai-Lyn at http://Www.everafterwithkids.com
Respect yourself, acknowledge your strengths, and be glad to be different. Don’t camouflage it. It will come to be one of your best attributes. Kate Evans at https://themumconundrum.com
By the time you’re not a teen anymore, you’ve lived maybe 20-25% of your life. You have time. You have plenty of time to achieve it all, and make mistakes and pick yourself up! Don’t worry, and just keep going! Irina at http://www.wavetomummy.com
So there you are. The teenage years can be tough, but know that you are amazing just as you are! It won’t be long before you too are looking back wondering how you managed to navigate the challenges of stepping into adulthood.
Stay true to yourself.
Thanks for reading,